Horror movies are the one place where creators may let their darkest fantasies and nightmares bloom. This is how absolute gems like Jaws, The Exorcist, Psycho, Nosferatu, and many more great cinematic masterpieces came to life. 

Unfortunately, for every Texas Chain Saw Massacre, there are 10 Troll II movies. For every Alien, there are hundreds of Sharknados. From the dozens of horror movies that come out each year, it’s tough to distinguish which ones will be worth watching and which ones are a total waste of time. Well, that’s in most cases. For these eight horror movies, just reading the premise is enough to skip them over.

8. The Bunnyman

One would think that the Bunnyman is a classic slasher movie, with the serial killer chasing and killing dumb teenagers at a remote location and all. In this case, though, the serial killer is dressed as a chainsaw-wielding pink bunny. Anyone who ever wore a full-body suit knows how difficult it is to move in it, let alone chase someone or hide with it for a jumpscare. Not to mention that the bunny costume is not even close to being intimidating. If the point is to project innocence, probably the chainsaw will give away his true intentions. If the killer is trying to hide his identity – a hockey mask or any kind of cover will do the trick. So why would a killer choose to give himself this handicap is beyond me. It’s like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but more fluffy. One of the reasons this movie is so high on this list is because it is based on an actual Virginia urban legend. The only horror in this flick is that it generated three sequels. 

7.Sand Sharks

It was a close call between Sharknado and Sand Sharks, but in my opinion, the second one is more absurd. In this position, I can put just as easily other brilliant works such as Sharktopus, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, and at least ten other films. They are not taking this place because, in these movies, the sharks at least swim in the water. In Sand Sharks, the beasts are “swimming” in the sand. There are so many things wrong with this idea. The only positive feature of the movie, which gives it any reconciliation, is that it is advertised as a dark comedy. 

6.The Gingerdead man

Yes! There is a movie where the main villain is a freakin’ gingerbread man. A GINGERBREAD MAN!!! The plot of the movie is as absurd as they come. A gingerbread man (yes, the Christmas cookie) is possessed by the spirit of a serial killer, who seeks revenge against the girl who sent him to the electric chair. The result is a cookie with a knife, killing people. It’s literally a better plan for the killer to wait for someone to choke to death on him. So I guess none of the characters he kills had any milk, water, or hands to crush the cookie. The most infuriating part is that they convinced Gary Busey to voice this abomination.

5.Squirm

Squirm has a rather unique idea and can creep out people who are afraid of worms. The plot of the movie revolves around earthworms, who develop a taste for human flesh. This is rather hard to happen since earthworms have no teeth, but that’s beside the point. Nevertheless, when the main antagonist is not more than several inches in length and slower than an old lady at the cash desk, the fear factor deteriorates. All you need to do is to let the birds eat all the worms or step on them in the worst-case scenario. 

4.Zombeavers

This movie is actually not that bad. It’s not good either, but at least you can appreciate the hilarity of the scenario. Unfortunately, I am not rating them by their quality, but rather by their ludicrous plot. Zombeavers is a dark comedy, which is the only sane thing about this whole production. The jokes are mostly flat, but there are 2-3 moments that you can’t help but laugh. 

The story begins with a spilt canister of toxic waste that splashes several beavers, which become zombies. As per usual, some teens come to this remote location to hang out, and the beavers attack them. The best part by far is when a beaver bits one of the girls and turns her into a zombie with beaver teeth. It’s simply awesome. 

Thank the Lord that this toxic waste splashed some beavers and not something more ferocious – like butterflies.

3.Death Bed: The bed that eats

Well, the title says it all. And thank God, because otherwise, you might watch this shit. The film is from 1977, only two years before Alien came out, but the quality of the two is no less than a thousand years apart. 

The premise of the movie is the least of its sins, and this says something. As you might have guessed, this cinematic masterpiece revolves around a bed that eats people. The bed itself has come to life after a demon wept tears of blood on it. The foul creature was in love with a woman who died during a passionate night on the same bed. The kicker here is that the bed can eat people only once every 10 years. Any other time it is like a regular bed. The gluttonous bed had spared only one man- an artist, who was cursed to live forever and witness the possessed furniture making human burritos for all times. 

During the current feast, the bed eats several people before it goes back to its slumber. Only two survivors are left – a man and a woman. Of course, they find out how to destroy the bed, and the ritual is as far fetched as they come. 

The whole movie is just an anthology of nonsense. There is no wonder it’s referred to as one of the dumbest horror movies ever made. 

2.Rubber

Rubber is actually an okay movie, even though the premise is absolutely ludicrous. The 2010 film is a homage to the “no reason” idea – a concept in which most things happen for no reason. Keeping this in mind, the plot of the movie has no reason.

The film revolves around a truck tire named Robert, who suddenly comes to life without any reason or explanation. It just happens. The movie’s first few minutes are like a coming of age movie, but for a rubber. Robert learns how to crush plastic bottles, insects, and after some drama, finds out he has psychokinetic powers. 

The second half is just mayhem, in which the truck tire rolls around and kills people by running them over, exploding their heads, and more. 

If you are a fan of the slasher genre and you don’t look too much into the preposterous premise, the chances are that this movie will get you more than a few laughs, and you’ll like it for sure. 

1. Attack of the killer tomatoes

The movie is about vegetables that kill people. Is there anyone who doesn’t feel like this movie should take the first place? Of course, this is a parody of the genre, but even so, it’s not a very good one. You can watch it “ironically,” but even then, chances are you will fall asleep before the 20th minute. 

The whole plot is too absurd to interpret, but the movie begins with a series of attacks by tomatoes. To defeat the enemy, the president sends a spy, dressed up like a tomato, to infiltrate the vegetables. He blows his cover when he asks for the ketchup while eating a hotdog. 

In the end, they defeat the tomatoes with the help of a horrible song named “Puberty love.” It’s just… precious.

These are the 8 horror movies with premises so ridiculous that compared to them, your fifth-grade essay on “What is your favourite time of the year?” seems like a genuine masterpiece.

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