The boss was smitten. He asked all his subordinates how bai Ivan knew the US president, but no one could answer.
14.07.2020
by Martin Atanasov
The Man! The Myth! The Legend
The small Eastern European country of Bulgaria has a story about a legendary person – bai* Ivan. His story, as old as the world, began 4 years ago when bai Ivan was only 68. He had been retired for several years, but since he never had enough money, this personification of the dried salted stick still had the strength to share his skills with the world. Bai Ivan applied for a job in his hometown Isperih, which the old man had left precisely 3 times in his life. He went to the seaside twice, and in his personal opinion, these were two times more than necessary, and once he got drunk on the way home and found himself in a neighboring village.
Thus, bai Ivan became a security guard for a local textile company, which, although not very large, still offered various products handmade by people working in slightly better conditions than the 5-year-old Thai girls making clothes for some world-famous brands.
Less than a year passed since bai Ivan took up his new position when the company’s ownership was transferred. A new, young boss took over the company, determined to turn it into a global brand. Only a week after taking office, the mayor of Isperih was invited to be introduced to the new weaving machine. The high-ranking guest was shown all the facilities of the company. On his way out, next to the entrance of the company’s grounds, stood bai Ivan’s small shack, which was equipped with several camera monitors, an electric stove, and a shabby bed. The guard himself stood at the door by the barrier. The moment the mayor saw him, he froze.
“Hey, bai Ivan, haven’t you retired yet? I’m delighted to see you. The wife and kids are asking a lot about you. They’re sad that they haven’t seen you. It was nice seeing you, I have to go, but I wish you health. And when you have time, come and visit us, “said the guest as he kindly shook hands with Ivan and bowed to him slightly. The guard said nothing. He only made a few inarticulate sounds and finally cleared his throat.
After the boss sent the mayor, he returned immediately to bai Ivan. “How do you know the mayor. Why didn’t you tell me you were good friends?” he began to question the guard. Bai Ivan was a man of few words and only answered, “Eh!”
The boss wondered how this simple-minded man could know the mayor, but Isperih was still a small town of several thousand people. It is quite possible that the two know each other. However, to elevate the company’s status in the local authorities’ eyes, he ordered the shack of bai Ivan to be renovated. A new air conditioning, a 52-inch TV, internet, and anything that will make bai Ivan’s work more pleasant.
After two months, the company’s business flourished, and a new building was built. The Prime Minister of Bulgaria himself was invited to the opening ceremony and cut off the ribbon. The official event received wide media coverage. The prime minister was taken to the new premises, where even the working conditions already resembled a standard factory from the first world.
On the way out, the prime minister ordered his guards to stop the motorcade. He got out, stared for a second at the small shack next to the barrier, and rushed to it when a man appeared in front.
“Hey, bai Ivan, how are you? How are the children? Are you feeling well here? Now I have to leave, but if you come to Sofia, stop by my place, let’s have a drink,” said the prime minister and left.
The head of the company was speechless. How would this simple man know the Prime Minister? To be acquainted with the mayor is one thing, but the Prime minister… He asked bai Ivan, but as always, he answered unequivocally with “Eh.”
However, the chief decided that his acquaintance with the country’s leader would help the business and promoted the elderly man to the head of security.
Another two months passed. The company saw unprecedented growth. International deals propelled the company into the world trade, where many new partners and clients were found—the biggest one – the US army. The small Bulgarian company from Isperih was tasked with the duty to provide clothing for all American troops. When the first shipment was ready, the US President Donald Trump himself came to Isperih to inspect the merchandise. Trump was shown how the beautiful Bulgarian girls, who were hired specially to please the American president, worked day and night over the American uniforms. At the end of his visit, as he spoke about how he is the best wеaver globally and knows the best sеwing techniques, he suddenly paused. His eyes glimpsed behind the cameras of the media crews and saw bai Ivan.
“Bai Ivan, my friend, How are you? How are the kids? Melania often asks about your wife, you should come and visit the White House. I have the special Rakia you like,” said the president. After that, he made a selfie with bai Ivan and posted on Twitter, “Two p*ssygrabbers, one goal. Vote Trump 2020 “
The boss was smitten. He asked all his subordinates how bai Ivan knew the American president, but no one could answer. A simple “Eh” was bai Ivan’s answer once again.
The realization that the simple security guard from Isperih bai Ivan knew such influential personalities pushed the company’s young head into an existential crisis. After 2 weeks, he finally managed to shake off his deep depression. The director promoted bai Ivan as deputy head of the company. From now on, bai Ivan would be his right-hand man.
After a year, the company reached a new peak. Gianni Versace personally invited the young boss to discuss possible cooperation in Rome. The chief prudently decided to take bai Ivan with him. Who knows? Maybe Versace knows him as well.
They arrived in Rome on Saturday night and had the opportunity to walk around the city on Sunday before Monday’s meeting. On Sunday, passing by St. Peter’s Square, the two stopped to listen to the mass. They mingled with the people and listened. Suddenly, from the balcony, the pope interrupted the prayer and said in an excited voice,
“Sorry to interrupt the holy mass, but bai Ivan, is that you? I have been praying to God for years to see you again. Come, come here with me to finish the prayer together.”
The man from Isperih went up to the balcony, stood next to the pope until he finished the prayer, and the people dispersed. Only an ambulance stood in the square. Next to it, the young chief lay lifeless. Bai Ivan rushed downstairs and asked what had happened. After a few minutes, his boss regained consciousness. Bai Ivan immediately inquired why he had fainted.
“Well, to know the mayor of Isperih, I understand. In a small town, people know each other. To know the Prime Minister – it’s possible. To be acquainted with Donald Trump, it’s hard to believe, but still. To be acquainted with the Pope – OK, the ways of God are mysterious. But when a Chinese tourist asked me, “who’s that next to bai Ivan,” I couldn’t handle it.
*”Bai” is an informal address in the Bulgarian rural regions to an older person, expressing respect. Literally translated as “big brother.”
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