Ten Minutes Reads

You are pretty sure that slavery is illegal for at least 150 years, yet somehow this guy didn't receive the memo.

June 17, 2020

by Martin Atanasov

The Seven Bosses You Will Work For During Your Career

You finally finished college, and it’s time to join the workforce. No more late-night parties, no more sleep-ins, no more carelessness. It’s time to take your diploma and show how much you’ve learned. You are ready, you are pumped, and you have the right motivation. Not that having something to eat so you won’t starve to death and not sleeping under the bridge is not good enough motivation, but yours is more vigorous. You want to change the world, have a 6 -7 figure salary, be significant, and, most importantly, you want to be the boss one day. Before that comes to fruition, you will most likely have to put up with a boss of your own. Here are the 7 bosses you will meet during your career. 

1. The Slave Owner

You are pretty sure that slavery is illegal for at least 150 years, yet somehow this guy didn’t receive the memo. You haven’t seen it, but rumors say he owns a whip and strikes you if he catches you having a toilet break. 

He lives a luxurious life – fast cars, expensive costumes, and enough gold to pay Togo’s external debt. Your paycheck, on the other hand, barely allows you to live in your car. You work hard 10-12 hours a day, yet only he is getting richer. With this boss, there is never a good time for your paid leave, and if you have a sick day, be sure you’re gonna hear about it in the next few weeks.

Nevertheless, you work hard, because you need the experience and the money. Regretfully money is not something guaranteed with the slave owner. There are thousands of reasons why he can’t pay you now – business is slow, he doesn’t want to start the month by giving up money, or he needs to reinvest in a new Lamborghini. Once you hear that he’d rather buy himself a new watch than pay his employees, you already decided to liberate yourself. 

2. The Drill Sergeant

You hear him yelling at your coworkers from the moment he enters the building. Wait a minute! Don’t you work on the sixth floor? Is this even possible? 

Maggot, worm, helminth. You are not sure what the difference is, but you’ve been called all of them. The Drill Sergeant is punctual and strict. He doesn’t respect your opinion and doesn’t care for it. There is no way you will do everything right, and when you misstep, A barrage of insults will engulf your small trench (work desk). You will seek allies, but you won’t find them. Everyone is too scared of the Drill Sergeant. 

At least the wages are regular and without any delay, so it’s a step forward. Yet, you fail to see how this salary will cover the emotional damage and stress. Not long after, you were called “Mama’s boy” for asking him not to insult you, you dessert from your post.  

3. The Workaholic

That’s more like it. You found a job with a mild-mannered boss, polite, cultured, and cares about his employees. It’s too good to be true. And it’s not. On your first day, you go early to work to make a good impression. Well, at least you think it is early. Your boss is already there and working hard. Are you expected to do the same? Most employees follow his lead, and the “you don’t have to, but everyone is doing it” is not very reassuring. After 14 hours of work, you are beaten. All you want to do is go home and relax. As you leave, you see your boss still working. With a friendly smile, he waves at you, “leaving so soon?” Does he sleep in the office? Should I be worried I’m not working hard enough? How much work is enough? After the third all-nighter you pulled this week, you already know this is not the place for you. 

4. The Phantom

This boss is a legend. Not that he accomplished astonishing things, and there aren’t any ballads commemorating his divine deeds. No! He is a legend because no one has actually seen him. A rumor spreads that the senior manager once met him, but this is most likely to keep the myth going. 

Like any specter, he leaves a vague proof of his existence – a note on the desk or an email. You can’t see him, but he always knows precisely what you are doing. 

You start wearing a crucifix, despite not being religious, and you put garlic on your desk just in case. You even asked a priest to come and sanctify your work desk next week. Despite all those precautions, one Friday evening, as you prepare to leave, you receive an ominous text with ghoulish demands. At least, that is how you perceive the request to work over the weekend. There is no escaping this horrific fate, mainly because there is no way to contact him. You need at least one medium (manager) to relay your message, and it’s Friday, man, everyone already left. The phantom always strikes when there is no one around to help you. 

Scared of this office of horrors, you decide it’s best to find a new place. 

5. Тhe Toddler

You are pretty sure that 4-year-olds can’t actually own a company. OK, OK. He is actually 5 years younger than you, but he looks so young. How did he manage to open his own enterprise? Is he even allowed to drink? It doesn’t matter as long as you can work in peace and don’t get paid with tree leaves. 

Like with any toddler, though, working in peace is not an easy task. He always has a question, and he wants to understand every little detail. If you don’t give him the answer immediately, he will get cranky and make a fuss. Never underestimate the energy of an excited toddler and his demands. Unfortunately, this particular kid, you can’t ground or refuse. Soon, like any parent, you will stop listening to him, but unlike regular kids, this toddler can choose his parents. 

6. The One In Heels. 

She is smart, kind, beautiful, ambitious, and cares a lot about her employees. She is the ideal boss. There are no late shifts, no weekend projects. This boss is typically easy to communicate with, as long as you don’t underestimate her. If you don’t tarnish her honor, you will be alright. 

One day she sits next to you and asks you to explain something. She smiles a lot, touches your shoulder, and even laughs at your stupid joke about the paperclip. NO ONE LAUGHS AT THAT!

As cold sweat runs down your back, a dangerous question craws through the corner of your mind. “Does she like me?”

The smart thing to do would be to wait and see if she has the same interactions with the other employees. If this behavior is only towards you, act with gentle steps to be sure you did not misunderstand her. Only after that, you may ask her if she’d like to grab a drink with you after work.

The stupid thing to do is to proclaim your love to her at the very next meeting in front of everyone and ask her to marry you. Guess which one you chose. 

7. The Friend

He is friendly, kind, and open to your problems. He really cares about you, and you can see that. He is your boss, but he is also your friend. This boss will always have your back. He will forgive your mistakes, he will let you go early when you need to, and you appreciate it. He will ask you if you wanna have a beer with him after work, and you will because he is an excellent company. 

Like any buddy, he will help you with your work and sneak you out of your tasks to hang out a bit. He won’t get mad if you’re late, and let’s face it, you are always late. This is paradise! 

“Hey, buddy, can you work this weekend so that we can have the project ready by Monday.” This question shocks you. You forgot that friendship goes both ways, and he will ask you for favors from time to time as well. 

“Sure thing, bro,” you answer with a huge smile. After all, this is the first time you are actually not mad about working during the weekend. You like this job, you like your boss, and you are sure he will help you if you try to go on your own. 

And after all, that’s what you are aiming for – becoming the boss. Who knows, after getting to know all these bosses, you may become a new type of boss. 

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